


When the Lights Go Out

by Cobrilee



Series: Tumblr Ficlets [9]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: And a menace, Flirting, Laura is brilliant, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-12
Updated: 2017-01-12
Packaged: 2018-09-16 23:16:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9294050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cobrilee/pseuds/Cobrilee
Summary: Laura is brilliant. Derek is along for the ride. Stiles is an unwitting ass model.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [this](http://poetry-protest-pornography.tumblr.com/post/155648932814/slap-activated-butt-light) post, and a subsequent comment Sterek-ing it.

Derek regrets the day Laura came up with her brilliant idea-which he can acknowledge is brilliant while still hating her for roping him into it. He blames himself for getting his degree in materials engineering (he could never have imagined  _ this  _ is what it would be used for), and also for teaching himself how to handle all the electrical issues at home.

_ “Butt lamps.” _

_ “I don’t even want to know what you’re talking about, Laur.” _

_ “I want to make lamps. Shaped like butts. But I’m not good with that kind of shit, so I need your help.” _

_ “Laura. Why do you want to make butt lamps?” _

_ “Because they would be fucking awesome, that’s why.” _

_ “I have no doubt that anything you make would be awesome. Would people buy them?” _

_ “Of course they would. Because in order to turn them on, you’d have to smack that ass. Who doesn’t like a good ass-smacking?” _

_ “Only you, Laur.” _

_ “Fuck that. Everybody. Everybody would want a lamp shaped like a butt that they could smack. We’ll make millions.” _

_ “We already have millions.” _

_ “So we’ll make more, and sponsor a lot of charities. Come on, Der-Bear. Make butt lamps with me.” _

_ “Do I even have a choice?” _

_ “Why do you ask questions you already know the answer to?” _

Which is how, nearly two years later, he finds himself staring at his newest design. Laura wanted to expand their line, which to her mind meant lamps shaped like a penis, but Derek had put his foot down. As a compromise, he offered to design a new butt shape, which would arrive in time for Christmas sales. As promised, it’s early September and the new prototype is sitting on his desk, ready to be approved and put into production. 

Before he can guiltily admire its perfection, his desk phone chirps and then Erica’s voice is coming in over the intercom. “Der, that friend of yours is here.” Her voice is muffled for a second, presumably as she puts her hand over the phone, then it comes back more clearly. “Stiles. He said you two have a lunch thing.”

His heart thuds at the expected-yet-not announcement. He knew Stiles would be coming in, but his morning sped by so quickly that it’s almost a shock to realize it’s lunch time. “Tell him I’ll be out in a second.” Quickly, he nestles the lamp back into its box, taking care to keep it away from Stiles’ prying eyes. Just in case he ends up in Derek’s office after lunch.

Leave him alone, he can dream.

Before he’s even two steps toward the door, he hears something that scares the shit out of him. “I know that ass.” As he pulls the door open in a panic, he can see Laura circling Stiles, studying him critically. “Erica, does his ass look really familiar to you?” 

Erica’s gaze sharpens as she twirls her finger in a gesture for Stiles to turn around. He does, eyeing them both with confused amusement. “I’m pretty sure we’re looking at the new Christmas addition, Laur,” she snickers, grinning wickedly as Derek slinks into the lobby, resignation written all over his face. “No wonder Derek was so happy to design the prototype.”

“I hate you both,” he declares wearily. Stiles glances over at his voice, brightening. Laura pounces.

“Derek, you simply  _ must _ introduce me to your friend,” she gushes, and Derek glares as she grins guilelessly. 

“Laura, this is Stiles. He works in tech support for the company that houses the servers.”

Stiles chimes in with, “We met when the servers went down a few months ago, I’m the one who was sent to inspect the site.”

Derek gestures at Laura with a sigh. “Stiles, this is my obnoxiously pushy and nosy older sister, Laura.”

Laura holds out a hand, beaming as Stiles shakes it with a firm grip. “I’m only older by a year. We’re practically twins.”

“Stop flirting,” Derek grumbles, and Laura turns her sharp, assessing gaze on him before looking back at Stiles with interest.

“Please tell me it’s a waste of my time to flirt with you because you’re gay,” she prompts.

Stiles snorts, which should not be attractive at all, but kinda is. “I’m bi,” he informs her, and Derek already knows that, but it still sends flutters of hope and  _ want  _ rushing through him. “You can flirt with me all you want, but I’m not stupid enough to think I’m even halfway close to being in your league.”

“Oh, sweetie,” Erica purrs, and Derek glares at her. His expression could not scream  _ do not say a fucking word _ any more clearly, but this is Erica, so she clearly could not care less. He swears she’s Laura, but blonde. “I’m pretty sure all you have to do is say the word and you could fuck anyone in this room.”

Stiles gapes, and Derek takes the opportunity to put a hand on his arm. “Let’s head out, I don’t want to waste your entire lunch break,” he suggests, and Stiles nods, his expression still a little dumbfounded.

“But Derek, we haven’t even asked him how it feels to be an ass model!” Laura protests, and Derek kind of wishes that looks could kill, because Laura would be pushing up daisies right now.

“Ass model?” Stiles echoes, and Derek gives up praying for her to shut up and focuses his efforts on getting the earth to swallow him up.

“He didn’t tell you?” Erica gasps, delighted, and Laura gets this look on her face and Derek just kind of wants to give up on life. “The prototype is in his office. I’ll go get it.” Derek doesn’t even protest, he simply sighs and drops down into one of the chairs in the lobby. Erica’s gone mere moments, and when she comes back out she’s holding the new lamp up like she’s a fucking Price is Right model. “Look familiar?”

Stiles studies it hesitantly, then slowly flushes when he realizes what he’s looking at. “You made a lamp shaped like my ass?” he asks, glancing over at Derek, and Derek nods slowly. “Why?”

“Maybe because he wants you to have a matching set,” Laura answers, her voice gleeful, and seriously, fuck his life. He glares at her half-heartedly, knowing it will do absolutely nothing to stop her, and he’s right. “His ass was the first in our lineup.”

Stiles laughs so hard that Derek forgets for a moment that it’s Laura he’s irritated with. His frown swivels to Stiles, who notices immediately and tries to rein in the laughter. He's only partially successful. “How the hell did you manage to convince him?”

Laura shrugs, but her eyes are sparkling. “I just told him that there’s literally no one in this world who wouldn’t want to get their hands on that bubble butt of his, and it would be a best-seller. I wasn’t wrong.” She lowers her voice as if she’s imparting a state secret. “I even smacked it myself.” She had, much to Derek’s eternal mortification. “You should have heard the way he growled at me. It was hilarious.”

“Aww, Der,” Erica coos, and that’s it, Derek’s had enough. 

“I’m hungry,” he announces, but he’s ignored. Unsurprisingly.

“Derek put the kibosh on my idea to sell penis lamps,” Laura says casually, “which is how we ended up with a lamp shaped like your butt. I’m starting to doubt that he’s against Glow Cocks as much as he says he is, and he was really just looking for an excuse to memorialize your ass.”

“Not that I blame him,” Erica chimes in, visually assessing the object of their discussion once again. “That’s a damn nice ass you have there.”

“I’m starting to feel like prey and you’re the predators,” Stiles comments dryly, and Derek snorts. It’s an accurate comparison. “But for what it’s worth, I like the idea of dick lamps. You could stroke them to turn them on.”

Laura beams, and Derek already knows he’s losing the next round of that battle. “ _ Right _ ? They’d be huge. My idea was to have a series of lights coming up out of the top, which would of course be the head, and then down the side. They’d all be white, and they’d light up gradually.”

“So it would look like it’s having an orgasm,” Stiles concludes, and he’s smirking, and Derek is maybe ready to give Laura the okay on the dick lamps. He’d kind of like to see Stiles turning him-no,  _ it- _ on. 

“Exactly!” she agrees. “And then there are the boob lamps…”

“Which you only want to do so you can ask that gorgeous redhead to model for them,” Erica puts in, rolling her eyes affectionately. “Which, considering she’s our lawyer, means you might get sued for harassment.”

Stiles perks up. “Gorgeous redheaded lawyer?” he repeats. “Her name wouldn’t be Lydia Martin by any chance, would it?” Laura is already nodding eagerly, and Stiles grins. “Well, in exchange for spilling the beans about my involvement in your lamp design, I’m going to hook you up. Lydia is one of my best friends,” he explains, “and I happen to know you’re exactly her type.”

Derek can’t help the slight smile that creeps onto his face at Laura’s excitement. She’s been crushing on their legal counsel ever since she was assigned to their team of attorneys, but has been too afraid of crossing any lines to say anything about it. It’s created an unusual amount of tension, since Laura is used to asking for-and getting-any person she’s ever wanted.

“As much fun as this has been,” he drawls, pulling himself to his feet, “it really is time to get going. Stiles is never going to have time to eat and get back to work at this rate.”

“It’s okay,” Stiles replies easily. “I took the rest of the day off.”

Derek glances at Laura, who shoos him away. “Your work here is done for the day, Der-Bear. Go, enjoy your time off.”

Derek nods in acknowledgment, his heartbeat picking up speed. As he passes by the lamp that is now perched on Erica’s desk, he smacks it on the right cheek. The light blooms, a bright white glow with a new addition. This version of the lamp changes color wherever it’s touched, so there’s now a blush-pink handprint on the right side of the lamp. 

Stiles chokes, and when Derek’s gaze shifts to meet his, he sees Stiles swallowing with difficulty. “Just so you know, that would look as pretty on your model as it does on the lamp.” One eyebrow lifts in what looks to be a challenge, and Derek’s stomach clenches.

“Let’s get lunch to go.”

Stiles grins slyly. “As long as you promise to make me breakfast.”


End file.
